Surgery time

So I realized last night after Zumba class that I only have three more classes before my surgery.  Blah. July 9th I'm having a partial hystorectomy. This is a good thing. I have endometriosis and this will finally relieve me of pain.  So I'm kinda excited about it. As a matter of fact the only thing that I concerned with over the whole thing is how long I'm going to be out of the gym.  I have to be out of work for 3 weeks and out of the gym and "the bedroom" for 6 weeks.  BUT the Dr. did say I can walk till I'm exhausted. So once I'm up to it I will be doing that. 

Please be nice

So, I'm not generally one of those people that takes every hand gesture, smirk or cough as a personal attack.  I'm more of a "Be the Duck. Let things roll off your back" kind of girl.  Therefor when I do see or hear something that I know is personal I know it for sure.
Frank and I went to Zumba last night, Lecia taught. Great class! Love Lecia. There are regulars in the class that we're comfortable with and would consider friends. There are a few girls in particular that are slightly stand-offish, and I can respect that. One of them in particular has warmed up to us recently and we kinda joke with her before class. As we were leaving last night she was out front with a friend and as we walked out I looked at her to say bye, and she didn't notice because she was motioning to her friend with her eyes at us with kind of a, "them" look and the friend very blatantly said, "Oooooooh yeah." Now, I understand that I don't know what they were talking about and it could've been something great, but I'll never know, and have not stopped thinking about the gesture since.  So really all I can say is, Please be nice, people. Everyone is on their own journey. If you don't understand somebody either get to know them or leave them alone.  You may have prettier hair, or a nicer body, or a nice car, but if you don't have a pretty heart, none of it matters... and people know. 

Big Announcement!!

Alright, I'm ready to say it.  I want to be a Zumba instructor.  There... I said it.  There are some that already know this, and a couple that probably new it before me. I have a passion for Zumba and I want more than anything to pay it forward. I have met some of the most amazing, positive, beautiful people through Zumba. There is no judgement. We're all there for the same reason to work out and to have fun doing it. Frank and I have gone on 2 dates that were Zumba. I mean, who does that. We don't dinner and movie anymore, we Zumba.  I love it.  So one of my goals is to get my weight down so that I'm comfortable enough to look at myself during a Zumba class. And to become a certified Zumba instructor in 2013.

Yay Me!!

So I wore this shirt today for the first time.  It's a women's race x-large shirt. Which for any of you that have race shirts a women's xl race shirt is like a normal medium... in my opinion. Anyway, I felt pretty good about it. And upon wanting to hold on to the feeling, I made good decisions throughout the day.  I took the girls to Burger King for dinner, and Whoppers are my absolute favorite fast food food ever. But I remembered a quote I once read that says, "If you eat you've always eaten, then you'll weigh what you've always weighed." So I chose the grilled chicken salad.  Yay Me!!

I'm fighting...

I'm fighting a cold.  I did Zumba yesterday. But that was it.  And then I ate crap for dinner.  So apparently I'm fighting more than just a cold. I'm fighting myself and my terrible eating habits.  I'm fighting the "I just did this, so I deserve..." I hate that I am so strong to pass up candy, cupcakes, chocolate in the kitchen, but you put a pile of chips in front of me and you'd think I hadn't eaten in 10 years.  So I came with a plan today...

Breakfast: smoothie PB, oatmeal, honey, skim milk, and a banana. (Yum!!!)
Snack: Greek yogurt w/ Raspberries, and almonds
Lunch: leftovers from last night... pasta w/ chicken and some kind of white creamy sauce. (What was i thinking?!?) I'll try to avoid the overflow of sauce
Snack: edemame, and a LF cheese stick
Dinner: don't know yet.

Tonight, I have a party to go to.  Luckily some of my other "healthy friends" are going to be there.  So I'll be more likely to just do a veggie plate and leave it at that. I may just make that dinner.

Tonight is strength training. I'll update later on what that will be.

New week... No excuses

I didn't do any strength training last week. I did my Zumba classes, but I didn't do any strength training.  Started out the week with my hubby having strep. Then Caroline had her last day of school and her 7th birthday and then we had the big birthday party. There it is my laundry list of excuses.  I put it out there and now I can't use them any longer.  I went to the gym today and did circuit training.

Workout:
2 min treadmill @ 2.5
3 sets Bicep curls @ 15lbs
2 min treadmill @ 4.5
3 sets tricep cable pushdown @ 30lbs
2 min treadmill @ 2.5
3 sets plie squats @ 40lbs
2 min treadmill @ 4.5
3 sets deadlift @ 40lbs
2 min treadmill @ 2.5
3 sets rubberband chest flys
2 min treadmill @ 4.5
3 sets pec flys @ 45lbs
2 min treadmill @ 2.5
2 sets plank twists @ 10lbs
2 min treadmill @ 4.5
3 sets cable ab curls @ 60lbs

So about halfway through this a girl came up and did a sprint on the treadmill next to me.  Then she got down and did a set that included handstand pushups.  It was pretty badass. Now mind you I'm not comparing myself.  I know I'm not at that level, and I am just fine with that.  But I did find that I'm in a place where I felt comfortable approaching her and telling her that she was doing great and talk to her about our workouts.  Before this journey I wouldn't have approached a badass chick in the gym in a million years.  But now that I am one... I can do that.  AWESOME!!!!

Skinny Minnie

Skinny Minnie is definitely a name that I'd never be called.  But sure enough, one of the girls in Zumba came up to me tonight and said, "Hey Skinny Minnie."  I didn't know what to say.  I think I'm going to seriously be taught how to except a compliment.  Especially about how I look.  I've always felt like when someone compliments me that it's because they feel sorry for the fat girl.  Kind of a, "Say something nice to her, because she probably doesn't hear it too often. It'll make her feel good." I find it very had to believe when someone is complimenting me that actually, do think that I look good.  I can never tell anyone this, really though, because I feel like then I really get fake compliments, and it's even harder to believe. I love to hear it, but I need to allow myself to receive it for what it is.

Zumba

Saturday morning Zumba.  I needed it today.  My hubby is sick. He doesn't do sick well, so it was a long night.  So I had to get out of the house.  Anyway, Zumba was a blast today. Straight party time.  Love it. 

I don't wanna

So I fight this battle with myself every time I go to work out. It goes something like this, "Ok, here I am. Sitting in front of the gym. Get out of the car. What am I going to do when I'm in there.  Um... upper body. no I don't feel like doing push-ups. Lower body?  I just did lower body, and my legs still hurt from that. So just do cardio. C'mon, Jessica, get out of the freakin' car!! I hope it's not busy in there. GET OUT OF THE CAR!! Ok. I'll do upper body and some cardio. Just no pushups."  and this continues all the way until I do the first exercise of the night. Tonight was no different. Especially when I realized that I didn't have my workout in my purse. But I did it. 

3 sets of biceps curls 12 @ 12.5lbs (dumbbell)
3 sets of triceps cable push-downs 1 set 12 @ 30lbs, 1 set 12 @ 35lbs, 1 set 12 @ 40lbs
3 sets of bicep bench press 12 @ 30lbs
3 sets of skull crushers 1 @ 30lbs, 2 @ 20lbs
7 assisted pull-ups 20lbs
THEN... this is the exciting part

5000 meters on the rowing machine

in 27:57:5 minutes 

That's right folks.  I did 28 minutes on the rowing machine  I remember when I was yelling at myself to do 5 minutes on the rowing machine.  Yeah, my arms are going to be so awesomely sore tomorrow.

Blah

Blah day. It happens.  I did really well with my eating today.  But... PMSing and I just want my feet up and some icecream.

Please do what I do

One of my daily prayers is that my daughters see me as healthy and choose that for their life as well.  It's one of the many reasons that I do what I do.  As many things as my girls are going to face in their life I want their health to be a priority. So my daughter wrote this note for me at school and I was elated to see that she chose to use my passion for running as a reference to her mom. 

How I'm doin' it.

So I've been asked to post more of how I'm doing it.  So here goes. 

Tonight was lower body:
5min run to warm-up
3 sets of 12 Plie Squats @ 70lbs
3 sets of 12 Dead lifts @ 50lbs
3 sets of 12 Barbel Side Split Squats @ 50 lbs
3 sets of 12 Leg Press @ 190 lbs
2 sets of 12 Leg curls @ 90 lbs & 1 set of 10 @ 85lbs
2 sets of 12 Leg extensions @ 90 lbs & 1 set of 12 @ 85 lbs
2 sets of 12 Seated Calf raises @ 70lbs & 1 set of 12 @ 60 lbs
15 minutes (2.63 miles) on the bike

I was supposed to do a Clean when I did the Dead lifts, but I wasn't quite sure of the correct form of them.  So I asked a purple shirt and he looked at me like I asked him how to do a push up.  So when I said, I kind of know how to do a clean and press he said to me, "Yeah, it's the first part of that." Grrr!! Never came out from behind the desk.  Alright then, let me go kinda guess/figure it out and, meh, hopefully not FREAKIN' HURT MYSELF!!!! 
Plus++++ I was home all day with my girls. I didn't eat breakfast, I was in the ER with my eldest at that time (Ear infection) BUT I had a protein shake at 10ish, then chicken and mushroom mexican dish for lunch (out with mom)... and chips (dammit). Dinner was Spaghetti with a sauce with some chopped meat (85/15) and then a protein shake after my workout. So minus the chips and the missing breakfast I felt good that I didn't snack all day long being home. 

I'm starting to see it...



Christmas 2011
276lbs

This was my company Christmas party last year. The theme was beach party. (excuse the mustache :0)) The white shirt that I have on over my dress, I was unable to button. I wore this same outfit today and had to have my husband tighten the tie around the back.





This is me today. June 4, 2012.
248 lbs



I'm so glad you're here

Having a rough go today.  I just got a junk-mail that said, surrender to the sweet fudge, or something like that.  I little part of me pondered the thought, but then I quickly deleted it.  And thought to myself, how can I face my blog knowing that I've been bad.  Now mind you, I'm not one of those people that puts any food off limits, but I do know my limits and I cannot just eat A piece of fudge.  If I eat fudge it will put me on a downward spiral of, "I've already screwed up so I might as well "enjoy" the rest of my day." forgetting about the rest of the sentence that goes, "and beat myself up the rest of the night." SO I will not seek out fudge. I will eat my sandwich for lunch, and a piece of fruit, and be proud of myself at the end of the day.  So proud that I'll want to continue when I get off work and go for a jog with my hubby.  So thank you for checking out my blog so that I can see that people really do care about me and how I'm doing.