Where have I been

So one of my best girlfriends asked me about my blog today. All I could really say was that I haven't been on in a long time. And the more I got to thinking about it, and I think I stopped because it makes me face the truth. I haven't been consistent in my workouts. I haven't been weight training at all. I do my cardio every once in a while. And even Zumba, other excuses are easier to come up with these days. I'm sick about the whole thing. I feel like a total crap-head, any time someone tells me how great I'm doing and that I look great. All I can think, is that it isn't true, because I'm not doing anything, but wearing clothes that look good on me. Not that I don't appreciate their compliment, but I just can't find it in me to believe them.
My hub-dub and I are in the process of buying a house. All of my focus is going to that. Is that a cop-out? It's all I got. I'm scared to death that if I'm not consistent enough in my current workouts that it will be that much easier when we move to not do it. That's been my downfall in the past. When I'm doing really well I'll change a little something, like the time, who I workout with, whatever, and it will throw me enough off-kilter to talk myself right out of it.
I try to tell myself that as long as I just live an active lifestyle, and try to stay as close to clean foods as possible then I'll be fine. But that's just not the case with me... yet. I'm not in a good enough place to step away from making it a conscious effort. I have to schedule it. It has to be the priority. So there you go. That's where I've been, where I am. I'm posting this because I need as many people to know that I need help. I can't do this alone. Pray for me, text me, tweet me, facebook me, whatever your venue is. Please just let me know that I'm not in this alone.
Thanks.